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Life Goes on…

I know I’ve been away from writing for a while now. If I did find some spare time, I used to choose to relax or sleep in it due to how busy my life has been for the past year. I’ve learned so much during this past year. The most important lesson is that no matter how hard you work, life will always surprise you and throw even harder obstacles at you. The secret is to keep on going. No matter how frustrated you are, no matter how lonely you feel during this journey, You should always keep that little spark lit in your heart. Because even if life problems and obstacles drain your fuel, your dedication will force life to supply you with more fuel. Always keep in mind that rest only comes after hard work. If you want to live the good life, you have to hustle hard. There is no joy in it, maybe some can find joy, but the reward at the end is truly worth it.

I’ll try to dedicate some time to write some technical essays since I’ve been engaged in managerial roles lately that I started to forget some of the technical stuff that I’ve learned. The wheel of knowledge never waits on anybody and hence, I should start catching up with where the world is currently standing.

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Live the life you want…

Life is difficult and is never meant to be lived easily. People who seek an easy life either end up broke or homeless or sometimes committing suicide. Some people confuse the the easy life with simple life. That is, a simple life can be hard yet the people who live it are utilizing the best resources that they have yet they never bother to complicate their life by trying harder to diversify their resources. This kind of people compare what they have and what will they have if they tried harder. They see that the outcome is just to be happy and comfortable, therefore, they decide not to bother and prolong any suffering and miss out that they already living the good life. In other words, the simple life is hard and people who live it can be happy and lasts for long. Yet the easy life can be an amazing life for a brief period of time and then leads to misery.
If there are no challenging events in your life, then rest assured that you will never progress in your life. Don’t be fooled by the comfort zone and live your whole life in the same state. Be strong and have faith in your self that you can indeed be the best person, you can conquer all your fears and never be afraid to make mistakes, for that you’ll be wiser and stronger by learning from your mistake and other’s too.
No matter how many obstacles are thrown in your way, how many people break you down, always stand tall and be your self. Live the life you want it and not the life you are expected to live.

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Crying Get you things… (Dilemma of having a baby)

crying baby

They say that you’ll never taste a good night sleep if you were in love. I say that is false because who ever came up with that statement is clearly never had children of his/her own. Once you you are blessed with children of your own, you will never have a goodnight sleep again. That is of course until they grow up or manage to have a night without them. Anyways, ever since I was blessed with my son Hamdan, I never had a good night sleep while he was around. If you read books about raising kids, you will realize why is that true! Children usually test the limits of their parents and the possibility to subdue them. You might say that I am exaggerating but this is true. I met with a pediatrician who has also a PhD in children psychology and confirmed that argument. He told me that you will see these parent in the mall where their kids boss them around and cry like crazy if they want something and will never shut up until they get what they want. The reason behind that is that the parents will keep on doing anything for the kid if he/she cries, which is wrong. According to the Doctor, every time the child cries out for something and the parent provides it, the child will take it as a sign and the next time he/she will require something even if it was insignificant they will cry and keep on crying until he/she gets it. Why is that, because the first times you have submitted to his demand and let the child take over control. To prevent your child to take over control, you should let him/her cry until they get tired and shut up. It may take forever the first time but eventually you’ll win and the child will realize that crying is not the tool to get you things. However, this does not mean that you ignore the child and never pay any attention especially if they start moving around. Circumstances control this kind of a measure as after all we are concerned about the health, psychological and mental growth of the children. Going back to the sleepless nights, the children will resist sleeping when bedtime is due. Usually they’ll cry and will want to sleep with you in your bed or keep on playing (usually enslave you to play with him/her). The best solution is that you keep the child in a separate room and leave them alone. They’ll cry like crazy at first but eventually will submit to sleeping every night during bed time. The problem that can interfere with this process is to have a weak or soft parent who cannot stand there and let the child go through the crying phase to the last point. This will definitely affect the effectiveness of the treatment by delaying the comprehension of the child that crying will no longer get you things. This is what I am facing with my son as my wife will never leave him sit there crying if I wasn’t around as I prevent her from interacting with him while crying. That is why I am still suffering every night and experience a full hour of agony prior to sleeping due to my son’s crying spree. It is getting better and better every day even though it is a slow progress yet it is progress. Hopefully one day my son will stop crying prior to sleeping.

A small tax to pay to be a father.
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Anger Management…

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Being angry is a type of reaction a human being would show to express his psychological discomfort by being hostile and aggressive. It is a totally normal reaction and would only reflect that you are a human being. However, some people take it to a whole different level when they start harming people either physically or emotionally and sometimes, even murder. Well, let us hope that none of us would reach that extreme. Anyways, ever since I was growing up, my family always tells me that I have anger issues and that I am aggressive when I get upset. At first, I thought this was a plus as people started to fear me and try their best not to annoy me. However, with time passing, you will realize that being angry or on the edge all the time will cause people around you to hate you and avoid you bit by bit every day until you end up with no social life. In addition, without you knowing, the anger will take control over your life and affect any social relation or interaction you make in a negative way that will eventually make your life miserable.

 If you don’t admit that this anger problem is an issue, it will grow even bigger and bigger. You can relate it to being similar to cancer, it keeps growing and spreading notoriously until it takes over your life, your relationships, your work, and eventually destroy your life.

Anger is never a good a solution in any situation unless you make it as a drive for dedication. An example would be a situation where you trained hard for a competition and did not win. Anyone would get angry because of that, however, if you direct that anger in yourself and force yourself to train harder and better, the next time you are in a competition you will definitely win.

Nonetheless, we all know that nothing good comes out of anger and controlling it is easier said than done. My father used to lecture me every time I get upset or mad about how you should never pass judgment, take actions or even say something while you are angry. The reason is that when you get angry, your mind is lost and almost everything that you do or say is always not meant. Every time I would listen to my father yet I never realized it until one day the anger just took over me. That memory was so intense and very vivid every time I remember it that it makes me remember why I should control my anger every time I get upset. In that day I realized how anger can take over your soul and make you do things you would never do. And what makes it really disturbing is that the reason behind me being angry was so ridiculous. I used to collect weird keychains and one day my younger brother took one of them and just threw it outside! Ridiculous right! Now why would someone snap because of that? I snapped to a point where I took a baseball bat and an axe and went after him. Yep, that bad! My father tried to stop me and I threw him like he was nothing and I was only 13 at the time! It took my father, his friend and my uncle to stop me. My father was shocked when he saw that state of mind that I was in. I was glad that they knew how to handle the situation and how they calmed me down and explained to me what I was doing. In the meantime, my brother ran away and never came back until very late at night. My father related that outburst of mine to the accumulations of anger and suppressed actions that I refrained myself from doing in a long period of time as well as the provocative act by my little brother. From that moment on, I realized that nothing good comes out from being angry and if something really gets under your nerve, then try alternative ways to disperse the anger and never let it build up inside like punching a wall, squeeze a stress ball, or be active (running, going to the gym, riding a water jetski…etc). I am still the same person with the anger issues, however, I learned how to control it and why I should control it before something really bad happened that I might regret in the future.

Numerous ways of controlling your anger that has been developed over time and proven effective. One way that I use was advised to me by my father, he told me that my grandfather used to write a letter to the person who made him upset and never say anything or do anything while he is angry. After he cools down, he would open the letter read it again and see whether to modify it and send it or just discard it. Nowadays, if someone upsets me, especially if it was a dear person, I would remain quiet and later write down all the thoughts that came across my mind while am angry and review it before after I cool down. It turns out that almost every time I write, the content does not reflect what I truly feel about that person and may have caused serious damage if it was said at the time. Adding to that valuable advice, there is a list of things that you can do to release the anger which it can be found in this link here.

Well, one can never fully control his anger and emotions easily. It takes dedication and realizing from the beginning that nothing good comes out from getting angry to make one reach that level of being able to manage his anger. 

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The Day I discovered the “Dunning-Kruger Effect”

When you start being a member of the work force and a productive member of the society you will start dealing with coworkers from different levels with different mentalities. I remember before started working, I learned throughout college and teachings from my father techniques on how to deal with different people. It is essential that you realize how to coop with people in order to survive. Regardless of how many negative and narrow thinking people out there, sometimes you will be forced to work with such people and if you can’t handle these kinds of people, you’ll perform poorly and ultimately fail. Well, during my experience in the work force, I have come across different kind of people with different mentalities. I have seen good people who are willing to teach you and improve you, people who are acceptable & welcoming to fresh ideas, visionaries, and glowing with positivity as you meet them. On the other hand, I have met close minded, arrogant, not willing to pass any knowledge, rude, and incompetent that you just can’t stand being with. Some of these negative people that I met were actually in managerial positions! This was confusing to me at first as I grew up thinking that people are only evaluated and elevated in the ladder of success based on competency and interpersonal skills. Therefore, I was shocked when I had a manager who couldn’t finish his training when he joined and all of a sudden he was our section’s head. I had to endure the suffering of explaining things to my manager who have lack of simple common sense, logic, engineering logic, technical background, and interrelation skills. He was so jealous of my success story in the company that he made it his mission to tarnish my reputation. This was basically done by assigning impossible tasks to me, excluding me from tasks that are challenging while knowing I’ll excel in, placing me in nightshifts in jobs that are in lower levels as if he was demoting me, and give out negative feedback to the management board whenever there was a meeting or chance he got. To me, it was depressing at first, however, I made it my mission to excel in any task given to me and always be positive and treat him back in a good way. No matter how hard he tried, the better my reputation has become. I felt sorry for him, the reason is that this kind of behavior looked to me like it is a psychological syndrome of some sort and thought to myself that “hey you know what, maybe there is a syndrome or something in management studies that can justify this kind of behavior?”.

I started googling the management skills website and references and I came across this term “Dunning–Kruger effect”. When I read the definition, I just laughed hysterically because in fact this syndrome is actually scientifically proven and perfectly describes my manager at that time. The definition as extracted from Wikipedia is as follows:

“The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly rating their ability much higher than average. This bias is attributed to a metacognitive inability of the unskilled to recognize their mistakes.[1]

Actual competence may weaken self-confidence, as competent individuals may falsely assume that others have an equivalent understanding. David Dunning and Justin Kruger of Cornell University conclude, “the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others”.[2]

Once I stopped my hysterical laughter, I took this information to my Mentor and My brother from another Mother (a true friend in this sinful, unjust, and dishonest world where good people are rare) who was a senior engineer at the time with great experience and suffering as I did from the manager. When I told him and showed him the definition, he started laughing, as expected, hysterically. He told me, “How did it even cross your mind to look for such information?” I told him, “I felt sorry for him and just thought maybe it is indeed a psychological illness!”. From that day on, whenever we see someone incompetent and hide his incompetency by being rude, arrogant…etc we just look at each other and simultaneously say Dunning-Kruger!

 

Anyways, now you have it folks. Whenever you find a manager who stepped up the managerial ladder due to being a good brown noser, placed in the position because he is dumb and can be controlled from managers above him, or whatever reason there might be and you find him exhibiting such symptoms, yell out Dunning-Kruger and pray for them because these people are mentally ill. Just try to get to know what sets him off, how to make him trust you, and if all is not working like it didn’t for me, move on to a different challenge and different experience. There is no reason for you to stay in an unhealthy work environment when there are plenty environments equally important and challenging out there in the world.Image

 

To my mentor, Mr. Naeim, N.A.N just like the way he likes to be called

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How to calculate book length

Nice article on how to calculate book length

GETTING PUBLISHED

In an earlier post I discussed broad issues relating to word count and book length but didn’t actually explain how the length of a book is calculated. Let’s take a quick tour of copy fitting, casting off and related issues here.

Which side of the equation?

When we talk of copy fitting, generally we think of a publisher’s production editor or typesetter looking at fitting the delivered amount of text, tables, illustrations, etc. into a specific number of pages. (This is why, as recounted in my earlier post, so much fuss is made about authors delivering a ms according to what was specified in the author contract.)

However, in your case (especially if you are self-publishing your book or a bit worried about having hassles with your publisher), it may be smarter to look at the equation from the other side – to calculate the likely number of pages…

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On “Geek” Versus “Nerd”

Slackpropagation

To many people, “geek” and “nerd” are synonyms, but in fact they are a little different. Consider the phrase “sports geek” — an occasional substitute for “jock” and perhaps the arch-rival of a “nerd” in high-school folklore. If “geek” and “nerd” are synonyms, then “sports geek” might be an oxymoron. (Furthermore, “sports nerd” either doesn’t compute or means something else.)

In my mind, “geek” and “nerd” are related, but capture different dimensions of an intense dedication to a subject:

  • geek – An enthusiast of a particular topic or field. Geeks are “collection” oriented, gathering facts and mementos related to their subject of interest. They are obsessed with the newest, coolest, trendiest things that their subject has to offer.
  • nerd – A studious intellectual, although again of a particular topic or field. Nerds are “achievement” oriented, and focus their efforts on acquiring knowledge and skill over trivia and memorabilia.

Or, to…

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